


A YouTuber and a Raptor Trainer Walk into a Bar

by Allthephils



Series: In which Phil tried a new thing [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Casual Sex, Enthusiastic Consent, Frottage, M/M, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, PWP, Phil X Chris Pratt, Rimming, Shower Sex, Smut, it's just porn on top of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:23:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allthephils/pseuds/Allthephils
Summary: Dan and Phil made an agreement that they got a free pass to hookup with their celebrity crushes if the opportunity ever arose. Here's what happened when it did.I don't know where this came from but I apologize for nothing. It's just porn, lots and lots of smutty smutty porn.Enjoy!





	A YouTuber and a Raptor Trainer Walk into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this, go read the epilogue, About the Other Night...  
> Thanks for reading!!! Let me know what you think!

_Why am I here?_ Dan is traveling with Stop Speak Support and Phil took the opportunity to get cocktails with Louise. Of course, she had to cancel 30 minutes before they’d agreed to meet up because one of the kids was puking and the other one wouldn’t go sleep. He isn’t sure which kid was which in the story but it really doesn’t matter. He isn’t angry, just disappointed. Louise definitely got the worse end of the deal so Phil had been gracious, promising to buy her something fruity and ridiculous when the kids were better. Unfortunately, he’s already ordered his drink and now the bartender is sliding him a pink cocktail, served up, with a sugared rim. It looks delicious. Sitting at the bar, he sips, scrolling on his phone. It’s Wednesday so it’s pretty dead in here.

Out of the corner of his eye, someone is walking up to the bar. He’s tall, as tall as Phil probably. He orders a gin and tonic and takes off his jacket, laying it on the stool next to Phil. _Damn._ This man is seriously filling out his t shirt. Phil feigns a stretch, leaning back to take a peek at the attractive stranger from another angle. Ok, who does this guy think he is? Who has an ass that tight and a chest like that and just saunters up to the bar in this hipster neighborhood? Phil corrects his posture, sitting up a little straighter and glances over his shoulder. The man looks up with his drink in hand, raising it to Phil and flashing an absolutely Hollywood smile. It’s a Cary Grant smile, a Paul Newman smile, a Chris Pratt smile. _Oh my god._

Phil’s hand shakes and he clinks his glass against the one held up to him.

“That’s a good looking cocktail” Chris smirks toward Phil’s drink, sending Phil’s head into a spin. Between the smirk and the American accent, Phil knows he must be blushing.

“Oh yeah” He laughs nervously. “What can I say? I like what I like.”

“Good for you, man. Life’s too short. What’s that called?”

He doesn’t want to answer the question but he does. “The smitten kitten.”

Chris laughs. It’s a booming, decidedly American laugh.

“Hey don’t knock it. You don’t know what’s in here. I once lifted a car off of a baby after one of these.” Phil tips back the last of the drink.

Chris cocks his brow.  “Alright then, can I you get another _Smitten Kitten_ or would you like something different?”

 _Excuse me?_ What does it mean when Chris Pratt offers to buy you a drink in a bar in London? It probably means he’s a friendly guy and he wants to meet locals.

“Sure, I’ll take another. Thanks.” He extends his hand like you do when you meet someone new, even if that person is a celebrity. Phil’s mama raised him right. “I’m Phil.”

“Chris.” As if Phil didn’t know. “Good to meet you.” Chris holds Phil’s hand firmly and pulls it toward him slightly. The handshake lingers a little too long and Chris seems to be lost in Phil’s eyes. Phil pulls his hand away, breaking the gaze as he does.

Chris gestures to the bartender who sets to work sugaring a new glass. He’s a step closer now, having settled in.

“So, Phil, what do you do?” Chris asks, never taking his eyes off of Phil.

“I’m a YouTuber, a content creator.”  

“No Shit?” A surprised little crease forms between his eyes, it’s utterly adorable. “That’s so cool! Are you like a vlogger?” He sounds like a little kid.

“Um not really, I make videos about my life, just you know funny videos. And I have a gaming channel with my flatmate.” _Flatmate._ He always refers to Dan this way but in this context, it feels like a lie and a guilty pang shoots through Phil.

“What brings you to London?” Phil changes the subject. He’s staring into his empty glass. He doesn’t dare look into that face again.

“Well, Phil, I’d tell you. But I’d have to kill you.” What a dork, Phil’s heart skips a beat. Chris chuckles and sips his drink. “Just a project I might be working on. I really can’t talk about it yet but it’s not as exciting as it sounds.”

“Something tells me it is.” Summoning his courage, Phil looks right at him. _Oh god, that beard is sexy._ “Chris, I’m trying so hard to be cool here, but I’m losing it a little, tbh. It’s taking a lot of work to suppress my inner fanboy.” There was that laugh again. Phil smiles and exhales, gnawing on the inside of his cheek to will away all this attraction.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m flattered. Are you an Andy Dwyer guy or a Star Lord guy?”

“Actually, I’m an Owen Grady guy.”

“Jurassic? That’s nice to hear.” He leans in to speak low in Phil’s ear. “Though, if you were into Star Lord, that could be fun.”

 _Gulp._ It’s a struggle to act to casual about Chris fucking Pratt blatantly flirting. He squeaks out something like a laugh and tries to steer the conversation away from the sexy Marvel role play fantasies that had definitely never crossed his mind before now.

“I mean, Star Lord is funny but he’s not exactly a raptor trainer, is he? When you were like, talking to Blue, like with your eyes?” Phil puts his hand to his heart and sighs theatrically.

“Hang on. Did you just swoon? Because I charmed a dinosaur?” Chris looks genuinely flattered and Phil just shrugs, his lips a slight pucker.

Phil clears his throat. “Anyway, I know all about Owen Grady cuz I’m a huge nerd. Tell me something about you. Do you have any pets?”

Chris hesitates then says, “Why don’t I tell you all about me over breakfast tomorrow?” He winks, laying it on thick. Phil can’t hold back, he bursts out laughing.

“Oh my gosh! Are you serious?” He forces the laughter down, not wanting to be cruel.

“I'm sorry but, is this you flirting? Cuz I gotta tell you Chris, it is not what I would have expected.”  

“Uuugh, I’m so sorry Phil.” He mumbles through his fingers, running his hands over his face. “I haven’t done this in a decade. My divorce just came through and I’m a disaster. I guess I’m still sort of on the rebound.” He puts his elbow on the bar and leans his head into his hand. He looks so vulnerable, so charming and Phil gives him a sympathetic sort of look. If anyone knows what it’s like to make an utter fool of yourself in front of someone you are attracted to, it’s Phil.

“Sorry about your divorce but those lines were rubbish, mate.”

“I know I know,” Chris says, pouting. “I was so ready to talk to you. You just looked so relaxed and cute, sitting here. But I froze. I get so nervous, like I have to play a part.”

“That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have fanned out on you. If it’s any consolation, I have no idea how to pick someone up at a bar. And I’m incredibly flattered.” A silence hangs between them for a few seconds. Chris is staring at him again, with those sultry eyes and those cheekbones and those perfectly shaped lips. _Stop looking at his lips._

“You have really beautiful eyes.” Chris sounds dreamy like maybe he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Thank you.” Phil’s throat feels tight.

Pulling himself upright, Chris takes a deep breath. “I have a lizard named Puff and two Goldfish named Pinky and the Brain." He exhales, relieved. "And well, I’ve got a bottle of wine in my hotel room. Would you be interested in maybe sharing that with me?”

There it was, no mistaking it, Chris Pratt had just invited Phil back to his room. Phil really wants to say yes. He bites his lip and Chris's eyes shoot straight to his mouth.

“Um. Chris, can you, would you mind waiting here for just one minute?”

Chris nods and Phil hurries to the toilets. He locks the door behind him and rings Dan.

“Phil? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Dan sounds panicked.

“Of course I’m ok.”

“Jesus, you gave me a fright. Why are you calling me? Phone calls are reserved for emergencies, like calling to say goodbye when your plane is going down.”

“Wow Dan, dramatic much? I need to ask you something important. Too important for a text.” Phil tried to sound normal.

“Okaaay. You’re scaring me a little bit. But go ahead.”

“Babe, remember when we agreed that if you ever meet Evan Peters and he just happens to be into you, you could totally hit that, like with my blessing or whatever?”

“Yeah, and you picked...one of the Chris’...Evans?”

“Pratt.” Phil supplies.

“Right. Thor.”

“No Dan, that’s Chris Hemsworth. Chris Pratt is raptor guy.”

“But you’re all hot and bothered for Thor.”

“Thor’s out of my league.”

Dan scoffs, “pfft, oh and Chris Pratt isn’t.”

Phil’s lowers his voice, “Apparently not.”

“What are you on about Phil?”

Phil has to just say it before he chickens out. He sounds like he’s had three coffees. “I came to a bar to meet Louise but she had to cancel so I was having a drink and some guy came up and it’s Chris Pratt and I’m pretty sure he wants to sleep with me.” He sucks in a breath.

The line goes quiet.

The next sound is Dan, gasping for air, laughing his loud, high pitched laugh that only comes out when he's truly caught off guard. “Holy shit Phil. Good one. Oh my god. You’re acting has really improved.”

Phil can’t blame Dan for not believing him but he’s still annoyed.

“Dan.” He says, in the most even, serious tone he can muster. “I’m not joking. He’s waiting at the bar right now. When we had that conversation, we were only half serious, so I need to know if you are cool with this.”

“Chris Pratt’s not gay.” Dan says, incredulous.

“How the hell would you know?” Phil can’t help feeling like he’s wasting valuable ab nuzzling time. “Maybe he’s not gay, but he’s absolutely not straight either.”

“You’re serious?” Dan’s tone has sobered.

“I’d swear on my mother but I’d rather not bring her into this.”

“Oh my god.”

“Are you ok?” Phil was starting to feel like this was a huge mistake.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! OH MY GOD.”

“Dan? I’m sorry. Forget I asked, please don’t be hurt. I love you. I don’t need a raptor trainer. I’m sorry baby, say something please.”

“Chris motherfluffing Star Lord Pratt wants in my boyfriend’s pants! Yes Phil! Go! Go forth and make me proud!”

“Really?! Are you sure babe? Like absolutely sure?”

“Yes!” Dan is practically shouting.

“You’re not gonna regret it as soon as we hang up? Like Woody Harrelson in that one movie where his wife goes off with Robert Redford and then he’s like punching the walls cuz he can’t stop it from happening now.”

“What? Woody Harrelson? Couldn’t I just call you back?” Dan tries to make sense of Phil’s ramblings.

“Nevermind." Phil begs, "I just want you to be 100% ok with this.”

“Phil, my love. Listen to me. If you do not fuck Chris Pratt tonight, I will never forgive you.”

Phil giggles, all his nerves turning to excitement. “Ok Dan, I’m gonna do it. It’s happening.”

“Amazing. I love you Phil. Have fun. Wear a condom.”

“Of course. I love too, baby. So much. Bye Dan.”

 

“Wait, Phil!” Dan barely beats Phil’s finger to the end button. “Not in our bed, ok?”

Phil deflates a bit. “Dan, I’d never do that. Are you sure about this?”

“Totally. Just that one thing. Now go. Don’t keep the man waiting any longer.”

“Ok. Can’t wait till you get home. Bye Dan.” He hangs up, looks quickly in the mirror, lifting his quiff a bit, and with his heart threatening to jump from his chest, goes to find Chris.

 

“There you are! Thought you might have climbed outa window or somethin’. You ok?” Chris had paid for the drinks and put on his jacket. He’s clearly ready for the next chapter to start.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. Full disclosure, Chris, I’m in a relationship. He’s totally cool with this though.” Phil waves his hand, back and forth between the two of them. “I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t tell you.”

“Ok with me.” Chris is clearly relieved that Phil said yes. Sure, he wants to get laid but the way he’s looking at Phil is sweet, enamored.

“Let’s do this.” Phil heads toward the door, anticipation buzzing in his stomach, and Chris scurries to keep up.

The hotel is just around the corner so they walk, tension building with every quick step they take. They glance at each other a few times, sending sparks between them. Neither of them has any idea what they’re doing but they’re pretty sure they can figure it out. In the lobby, the receptionist greets them professionally.

“Good Evening, Mr Pratt. Mr. Lester. Can I send anything up for you?”

“We’ll order up if we need anything thanks.” They step on the elevator and a realization washes over Chris. “Wait, Mr Lester?” Why does she know your last name?”

“Well, maybe I can tell you all about it over breakfast.” He gives Chris a cheeky grin, his tongue poking through his teeth.

“You are too adorable.” The elevator doors open. “And really really sexy.” He grabs Phil’s hand, pulling him toward his room. Phil throws his head side to side, making sure no one is witnessing this. The door shuts behind them and Chris busies himself hanging up his jacket and fidgeting about with wine bottles and glasses and music. Phil really needs this fantasy to start already. When Chris turns around, Phil is right there, inches away. He puts his hands on the broad chest in front of him. This body is so different from any body he’s touched like this. Mostly, it’s just not Dan. Dan’s words run through his head, his excited, _Yes Phil_ _!_ This is good, this is his, he can have this just for himself. Because he and Dan are that strong together. It’s going to be new and fun and amazing and he’s not going to think about Dan anymore till it’s over.

Phil smooths his hands over the taught fabric of Chris’s t-shirt, his nipples hardening under Phil’s palms. Chris cups Phil’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. It’s a stiff, tentative kiss. His tongue searches for Phil’s, getting more assertive but also more clumsy. His body is rigid. Phil wraps an arm around Chris’s waist and slides his other hand to the back of his neck. Spinning him like a ballroom dancer, he backs him up against the wardrobe.

“Is this ok?”

Chris nods, breathing heavy. All that cocky American confidence has melted away. Phil presses a soft kiss near the corner of his mouth. Then another, fitting their lips together. He rakes his fingers up through the back of his hair. Poor Chris is so scared, his hands just hang at his side.

“Chris, you can hold me if you want, I’d like that.”

His arms fling up to grab a hold of Phil’s shirt, hanging on for dear life. “Sorry, I’m nervous. Really nervous.”

Phil lays his head on Chris’s shoulder, just lays there till he feels him relax and wrap his arms around Phil, his hands skimming over his back. Phil caresses Chris’s jawline, relishing the feel of a man with a beard.

“We don’t have to do this, we can just watch a movie or something. I hear that Guardians of the Galaxy is really good.” He pulls back so Chris can see that he means what he says.

Wearing a small smile, Chris answers, “No, Phil, that’s not it. I want you, you’re funny and hot and god, yeah I really want you. It’s just been a long time. And when I’ve been with men, it’s been, well, short and to the point.” Chris has the most expressive eyebrows and Phil has to laugh at how they punctuate this last sentence.

“Is that what you want? Short and to the point?”

“No, I want to really enjoy this.” Chris pulls him back in, closer than before so Phil’s leg slips between his. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

Phil rewinds, back to that kiss, hands in Chris’s hair. The mouth against his softens little by little until it yields, allowing Phil to suck the bottom lip just slightly toward him before sliding his tongue inside. He waits for reciprocation, gently prodding his tongue toward Chris’s until they meet and swirl together. A small, soft moan comes from Chris and he rolls his hips forward so Phil’s thigh rubs up against his crotch. Phil trails kisses over Chris’s throat, pausing to rub his cheek against the stubble there, then reaches up to nip at his earlobe.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” Phil says low, his northern accent coming out with his arousal. Chris shudders under him. God, it feels good to make him respond this way. He barely knows this man but he’s already learning what he needs to feel good. This is what Phil loves about sex, the connection, the trust, the pleasure that comes when someone opens up to you. And he meant what he said, he’s got him. Just for tonight, he’ll take care of Chris, because they’ve entered into something now, something vulnerable. Phil doesn’t take that lightly.

Chris smells like cologne that Phil could probably afford but would never buy. It’s spicy and citrusy and Phil gets the distinct urge to lick him. He needs more skin and now. He tugs the hem of Chris’s well fitted shirt up and he lifts his arms to help. Phil pulls his own shirt off, and presses their skin together, diving back in to a deep, tangled kiss. It’s so solid under him, this broad chest, Phil wants to curl up and nap on it. He feels small, not a feeling he has often, and he loves it. However small and enveloped he feels though, he still wants to bend Chris over and push into him slowly. He still wants to hear him whimper and moan. The kiss is charged with all these thoughts, all this desire. He drops his lips, hunching to drag them across Chris’s defined pecs. He gently licks a nipple, looking up for feedback. Not everyone likes their nipples played with but Chris throws his head back and inhales sharply. Phil takes that as a yes and sucks the the tiny pink nub into his lips. He licks over it with the flat surface of his tongue and Chris moans, squirming a little.

“God Chris, your body… Will you lay down for me?”  

Chris works his shoes and socks off then lays across the bed. He wearing only jeans now and he looks like a fucking god to Phil. Climbing over him, Phil takes his time. He kisses his hip bone. He traces the contours of his abs with his tongue. He licks and sucks along his rib cage. Chris arches and writhes, husky moans and curses roll from his lips.

“Fuck, aah, Phil, jesus, goddamn, oh my god.” Phil just smiles against all this tan skin. This is so much fun. Every place he kisses or bites or scratches is firm, tight. _Fuck._ Chris’s hands start to wander, finally. He runs them over Phil’s chest, pinching his nipples just as Phil is nibbling on one of his. He caresses over Phil’s thin soft belly and lets out a hum, admiring the feel. His hands grip Phil’s ass hard, grinding him down onto his own straining jeans. Phil is moaning now, just little breathy ones, small indications of the desperation he starting to feel.

He shuffles backward off the bed and stands, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down. Chris props himself up on his elbows and watches. Quickly he sits up, like he’s late for something, and lowers himself to the ground. His face is poised right in front of Phil’s Calvin Kleins. 

Phil looks down into those eyes. “Chris, do you have condoms? And like, lube?”

“I do. In the drawer. I was holding out hope for this trip.” He smiles and and presses his palm to Phil through the cotton of his boxer briefs.

Phil smiles down at him. “Ok, great. Carry on.”

“Carry on? You’re so British. That’s hot.” Chris presses his mouth to Phil pants and slides his lips over his entire length. Phil watches, in awe. It’s so strange to see someone new down there and it’s such a turn on. Chris hooks his fingers behind Phil’s waistband and pulls down, carefully lifting it over Phil’s half hard cock, his eyes growing wide.

“Oh... Wow.” He’s wearing a smirk as he looks up at Phil. “I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

There’s a beat before Phil cracks, laughing hysterically. Chris giggles too but then he ducks his head and wraps his lips softly around Phil’s tip. Phil’s laughter dissolves into moans as Chris sucks gently at the foreskin, running his tongue along the edge.”

“Is this ok? I don’t exactly know what to do with foreskin.” He licks over the tip again.

“Mmm, yeah, that’s perfect... Just be gentle, it’s sensitive.”

Chris’s lips press to the tip of Phil’s cock and he bobs forward, slipping on and off, with very gentle suction. He laps at the sensitive skin, kissing all around the tip, playing carefully. He’s fascinated. Phil’s hands are in his hair again and he’s mumbling affirmations.

“Yes, Chris. That’s it, just like that.” The space around Phil’s cock disappears as he grows hard against Chris’s lips. Chris slides off to take a breath, wrapping his hand around the shaft so he can focus on what he’s able to take in. He’s deliberate, careful, but soon he let’s go. Licking and sucking, stroking with abandon. He moans with his mouth around Phil and he can see Phil’s legs starting to shake.

“Stop. stop. Chris, oh my god.” Chris slowly pulls his lips away and stands. “I’m not gonna last long like that. If you want to see any action, we should move on.”

Chris bites his lip, looking proud and a little smug. It’s pretty adorable. Phil steps out of the pants that have been around his ankles all while smashing their lips together. This kiss is so wet, so dirty, compared to earlier. Phil just wants, he wants Chris’s mouth, he wants his hands, and he very much wants his ass. Shoving his jeans and pants down, he helps Chris out of them. It’s so easy when they aren’t skinny jeans. He’s groping his bum, grinding against him. Chris moans into his mouth. It’s just so good. Phil slides a finger into the cleft of Chris’s ass, teasing, asking the question.

“Phil,” Since Chris stopped kissing him, Phil moves his attention to that thick, muscular neck. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve been with a man” He tips his head to allow more Phil to cover more ground. “God that feels good. I’m sure you’re aware...mmm...that you’re kinda... hung.”

“I’m aware.” Phil laughs against his neck, sending shivers down Chris’s spine.

“I don’t think I can take you, nothing’s been up there for years.” Phil pulls back to look at Chris and frowns. “Ok, that’s totally ok. But that’s so sad for you. I mean, do you miss it?”

“Well,” His eyes dart from Phil’s eyes to his mouth and back again, “yeah.”

A devious grin spreads across Phil’s face. He’s enjoying this way too much, orchestrating the experience, it’s been a long time since he’s been with someone so vulnerable. They move together again to kiss and grind and touch, Chris, out of breath, tries to match Phil’s rhythm. They fall into the bed haphazardly, the intensity building. Chris is gripping Phil’s ass hard enough it’s likely to leave a mark, rutting up into him. Phil’s whispers into his ear. “Turn over on your stomach, I’ve got you.”

Chris cocks his head like a curious puppy but he turns over, situating himself on a pillow. That ass is something else. Phil shakes his head in disbelief, looking to the ceiling, and huffing his silent acceptance that this really happening. He strokes himself once or twice, letting the view soak in, then reaches over to the bedside drawer and pulls out a small bottle of lube, placing it near them on the bed. Phil runs his hands up the back of those firm, beautiful thighs.

“Spread your legs a little.” He spreads them a lot, enough that Phil can settle in comfortably between them. This is all too much, Phil wants to eat this man alive, his skin is positively vibrating, his cock leaking and throbbing. His hands massage over the muscles of Chris’s back.   

Chris could definitely do push ups with Phil on his back, he could definitely hold Phil up and fuck him in shower, he could put Phil where ever he wants. But instead, he’s face down, spread open, trusting Phil to reintroduce him to long forgotten pleasures. Phil is drunk on these thoughts swimming in his head as he ducks down and runs his tongue up the center of that taught ass. He moves his hands down and pulls him open, gently, just looking, as Chris softly pleads, “yes. God yes.”

“Chris, what do you want?” He runs his finger over Chris’s tight hole, loving the feel of that soft, quivering flesh.

Chris stammers out, “Your tongue Phil, your lips. God, please.” He’s arching now, lifting his hips off the bed slightly. Phil’s lips press against him, softly at first, his tongue darting out to lap and tease at this most intimate of places. Chris bucks and gasps at the sensation, foreign as it must be.

“Oh, oh my god, Phil, holy fucking, aah.”

Slowly learning just the right pressure and pace to bring forth long, low groaning, Phil takes his time. Once Chris is soft and pliant for him, Phil asks, “Can I touch you, Chris? Inside?”

“Yeah, ok, go slow.” He’s rolling his hips into the bed.

“I will. If you don’t like it, just tell me and I’ll stop.” He coats his fingers in lube and strokes over Chris’s hole again, it’s far more relaxed now. Slipping in a fingertip, Phil reminds Chris to breath. Soon, he’s moving deeper and deeper. As he slides past his second knuckle, Chris hisses, sucking air through his teeth.

“Is that ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s good.”

Phil’s reaching, hooking his finger, searching for that spot he hasn’t had to search for in ages. Soon he finds it, ripe like a plum, and he presses his fingertip there. Just solid pressure at first, then gentle petting. Within seconds, Chris reacts, a pitched up moan escaping his lips.

“Oh my god. Phil, right there. Yeah.”

He grinds into the bed searching for friction and Phil keeps massaging inside him, occasionally pulling out and twisting his finger to test what Chris needs. Every time he pulls out, Chris rises off the bed pushing back on to Phil’s finger before thrusting back toward the bed. Phil’s stroking himself now, getting off on the visual of this big, strong, man writhing underneath him.

Chris is a beautiful moaning mess. “Phil, I’m close.”

Phil’s slips his finger out and and shifts his legs to the outside of Chris’s hips. He rests his desperate cock between the cheeks of that exquisite ass, laying his body over Chris. Phil thrusts, sliding back and forth, kissing and biting at Chris’s neck.

“Can I cum on your back?”

“Jesus. yes.” Chris has propped himself up on his elbows and he’s pushing his ass back into Phil, craning his neck to catch a glimpse. The feeling is heady. Phil’s cock sliding along his ass, hot breath behind his ear, the sound of Phil grunting.

“Fuck Chris. Your arse is a fucking miracle.” Phil’s cadence matches the tempo of his hips. Chris titters breathlessly as he flexes his glutes in time. Phil’s breath quickens and low moans replace his grunts. Chris reaches down to give himself what he’s been building up to but Phil catches his arm.

“Wait. If you can...Wait, I’ll take care of you.” Just then, holding Chris by the wrist, Phil cums, shooting warm white streaks over the flat expanse of Chris’s lower back. He drops his head, panting, then collapses onto Chris, letting himself rest there for just a moment.

“Your turn, roll over.” Chris is on his back before the last syllable is spoken, knees bent, legs spread wide. Phil coats his finger in lube one last time for good measure and sinks in, finding that magical spot easily this time.

“Aaah, more, please!” Chris’s hotel neighbors are getting an earful. “Phil, I’m gonna cum.”

Phil wraps his long fingers around Chris. He’s wet with precum, red, and twitching.

“So cum.” Phil says looking down at Chris with dark eyes. It only takes a few strokes of his fist and Phil’s hooked finger inside and Chris is crying out, rising off the bed, charged with ecstasy.

“Fuck, fuck, Phil! oh my god.” He spills over Phil’s hand and all over his own ripped abs. Phil lets his soft, spent dick fall and lies down next to him, propped up on one arm. He watches silently as Chris comes down from his high, eyes closed, breath shaky. Eventually, he looks to Phil and smiles.

“What the fuck did you just do to me?” His brow forms that pretty little crease again. Phil just shrugs and climbs under the covers. Chris follows suit. He moves to cuddle but there's cum on his back and his front so he just snakes a leg around Phil’s instead.

“See you at breakfast.” Phil says, so tired, taking Chris's hand and kissing the fingers.

In the morning, Phil wakes to breakfast, as promised. Chris has already showered and he wears a towel around his waist. Even after everything they did last night, Phil is still floored by the sight.

“Hey sleepy head. Wasn’t sure what you’d want so I got pancakes, cereal, bagels, and a full English breakfast. Your choice.”

Phil sits up and rubs his sore eyes. “Wow, thank you! Pancakes please.”

Chris is beaming, like a man who seriously worked some stuff out the night before. He brings Phil a tray with a plate of steaming American style pancakes, a tiny pitcher of maple syrup, a cup of coffee, and a glass of juice. It’s heaven. Setting the tray on his lap, Chris watches him pour syrup over his stack of pancakes.

“Forgive me but I’m just imagining all the things you could do to me with that syrup.”

Phil takes a bite and a sip of coffee. “Sorry mate, this is going straight into my mouth.”

Chris is fixated on Phil, watching him eat messily. Crumbs fall and butter drips down his chin.  

“You’re a mess, why is it so endearing?” Chris shakes his head. “What am I supposed to do now?” He sits on the bed at Phil’s feet squeezing them through the covers.

Phil takes a huge bite and has to spend some time chewing. Eventually, he washes it down with more coffee and says, “You’re just gonna have to learn to live without me.”

“That man of yours is a lucky one. Are you guys open or…?”

Phil explains, “No, not exactly. Do you watch Friends?”

“Of course.” Chris clambers into bed next to Phil. “Wait. Do you have a freebie list? Am I one of your 5 celebrities?!”

“Not 5.” It’s ridiculous to flush like this after where his mouth has been. “We each got 1. He chose Evan Peters and I chose...you.”

Chris sits up straighter, facing Phil. “You got 1? And you picked me?”

Phil nods, sopping up maple syrup with his last bite of pancake.

“Glad I didn’t know that last night. That is way too much pressure.” Chris leans in for a sticky sweet kiss. “I wish I had more time. I have to leave for the airport in an hour but I don’t want to be finished with you.”

Setting aside his tray, Phil stands up out of bed, stretching in all his naked glory in front of the sunny window. Without a sound, he walks coolly to the nightstand and pulls open the drawer. He holds the lube and a condom aloft and looks over his shoulder as walks away toward the shower. “Give me 5 minutes.”

When Chris enters the room, he’s already hard. He finds the condom sitting outside the steamed up shower door and puts it on, then steps into the steam. They meet in the spray and kiss hard and fast. Phil tugs on Chris’s hair and bites his neck hard enough to elicit a gasp.

Phil throws a leg around his waist. “Can you hold me up?” Chris knits his brows as if to say, _obviously,_ and nods yes.

Phil bites his lip and says enthusiastically, “I’m ready if you are.”

Strong hands grip Phil’s thighs as he jumps up, pinned to the wall. He braces his arm on a broad shoulder and reaches to guide Chris into him. He’s smaller than Dan, and he curves up a little. He hadn’t noticed last night. Chris fucks him there against the tile, his stance wide and steady, their mouths attached. It’s loud and messy and so hot. Phil jacks himself off just as Chris cums into the condom, buried deep inside of Phil. He holds him there, Phil’s legs and arms wrapped tight now, his head on his shoulder. They both hesitate to let go of this moment, knowing this is the end of the fantasy they've made together. The one where Phil gives Chris Pratt the best orgasm of his life and the one where Chris takes a handsome stranger home and lets him do whatever he wants.

When they are cleaned up and dried off, Phil sits at the edge of the bed at watches his heartthrob dress and style his hair.

“I’ve got late check out, so take your time.” He gathers his things and it’s time to go. He looks beautiful, like the movie star he is, put together, well styled. He drops to his knees in front of Phil, whose eyes are bloodshot from dry contacts and whose hair is a spikey nest. Holding Phil's face in his hands, Chris lets himself get lost in those eyes one last time.

“Goodbye Phil. I’m never gonna forget this. You’re something special, I hope you know that.”

He kisses Phil sweetly on the mouth and then on the forehead.

“Goodbye Chris. Safe travels.” Phil watches as Chris gets up and walks out the door, placing the _do not disturb sign_ on the handle.

Phil shimmies into the bed, and pulls the covers up. He’s got two hours before this fairytale is over and he’s going to spend every minute of it in this incredible bed. As he’s drifts off to sleep, his heart pulls. He misses Dan. Tomorrow morning, he’ll wake up to the love of his life. He holds that goofy Chris Pratt smile in his mind for just a bit then let’s it fade away, replaced by a dimpled grin with perfect teeth and two perfectly placed freckles to the left.

 

End.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr @allthephils


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